Phoenix is SUPER fiesty (like her mama of course) but last night she was beyond it. She woke up crying, which really isn't that unusual for her, but her bottle didn't do the trick this time. We rocked her, patted her, sang to her, and even turned on the Sprout Channel hoping it would bore her to sleep..lol..but nothing worked. After an hour of crying and us failing miserably, she FINALLY...threw up all over her Daddy. haha Bless Lipe's heart! I helped clean them up and he took Nixxy straight to the shower @ 2am. He carried her in after she was done, and she had thee biggest smile on her face. She fell asleep before he could even put a diaper on her.
Last night was a much needed reminder that my kids truly need me. They look to us for protection, love, care, everything and anything, and I really do feel validated by that. I need them just as much, if not more. I LOVE Phoenix and Sydney to the moon and back and I will literally do whatever it takes to raise them right and ensure they get every opportunity they deserve. My little family has brought me to the realization that I am a strong, loving, good Mother with an amazing Husband and I am blessed beyond measure because of my children.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Heart&Soul of our Moea'i Family
We spent Easter Sunday at the cemetery, visiting our beautiful late Grandmother Violeta. Everyone brought her flowers, ballons, easter eggs and even a stuffed rabbit. When we first arrived, the weather was gloomy with a light sprinkling of rain. It was amazing to me, that as we sat there, talking and singing her favorite songs, the sun broke through the clouds and shone directly on us...directly on her. I could feel her presence so strongly at that moment and the warmth of the sun reminded me of so many things - her voice, her smile, her love. Nothing makes me happier than being around my family, but seeing everyone brought back memories of the day we lost her and her funeral. I had to work the whole week and missed her last service and burial. Some moments can never be re-created or replaced and missing those two services still stings.
There are SO many wonderful and unforgettable memories that I have of Mama Violeta. When I was younger, we lived with my Aunt (who is one of my many second mamas) Vanetta and our Granparents lived with us as well. We had a full house, but Grandma always made time for all of us. She would make sure we said family prayers everyday and she always had some kind of snack or treat for me. She sang us songs, told stories, asked how our day went and told LOTS of jokes...all in a mix of samoan and english and lots of translation from our grandfather. lol Most of all, I remember her faith. She literally changed and blessed my life.
When I was 15, the doctor told my mother and I that it was doubtful I would ever have kids. So when I got married, it was not a surprise that I was not getting pregnant. This was thee most difficult time for me and I would cry to my Husband, Sisters and especially to my Mom, who at the time was living in Samoa caring for my Grandparents. Everytime I would call, without fail, I would hear my Grandma in the background yelling in Samoan, "Do you have a Baby yet?" My mom would say "Not yet Mama." Then I could hear her yelling at my Dad. "See what happens when you fight with your daughter?" LOL Mom told me that everyday, Grandma prayed for me. She would cry for me too, and alone in her room, my Mom would hear her asking the Lord to bless me with children. When I found out I was expecting, she was the FIRST person I called. Through her, I received a miracle and I will ALWAYS have a testimony that through faith, prayer and love, all things are possible.
A few days before my Grandma passed away, I got the chance to spend almost an hour alone with her and my Aunty Toi. In that time I was able to help change her bedding, turn her on her side and most importantly, tell her all the things I never had the chance to. Although she couldn't respond, I held her hand and told her how grateful I was for her example, blessings, prayers and love. I cried with her, kissed her cheek and swept the hair away from her face. In this little time, I felt closer to her than I ever have and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she knew and heard me. Before I left, I rested my head on her chest and said "Thank you for my Babies, I Love You Grandma."
This is the memory that I hold on to and cherish the most. Manuia Lou Malaga Violeta Talua Taito Moea'i.
There are SO many wonderful and unforgettable memories that I have of Mama Violeta. When I was younger, we lived with my Aunt (who is one of my many second mamas) Vanetta and our Granparents lived with us as well. We had a full house, but Grandma always made time for all of us. She would make sure we said family prayers everyday and she always had some kind of snack or treat for me. She sang us songs, told stories, asked how our day went and told LOTS of jokes...all in a mix of samoan and english and lots of translation from our grandfather. lol Most of all, I remember her faith. She literally changed and blessed my life.
When I was 15, the doctor told my mother and I that it was doubtful I would ever have kids. So when I got married, it was not a surprise that I was not getting pregnant. This was thee most difficult time for me and I would cry to my Husband, Sisters and especially to my Mom, who at the time was living in Samoa caring for my Grandparents. Everytime I would call, without fail, I would hear my Grandma in the background yelling in Samoan, "Do you have a Baby yet?" My mom would say "Not yet Mama." Then I could hear her yelling at my Dad. "See what happens when you fight with your daughter?" LOL Mom told me that everyday, Grandma prayed for me. She would cry for me too, and alone in her room, my Mom would hear her asking the Lord to bless me with children. When I found out I was expecting, she was the FIRST person I called. Through her, I received a miracle and I will ALWAYS have a testimony that through faith, prayer and love, all things are possible.
A few days before my Grandma passed away, I got the chance to spend almost an hour alone with her and my Aunty Toi. In that time I was able to help change her bedding, turn her on her side and most importantly, tell her all the things I never had the chance to. Although she couldn't respond, I held her hand and told her how grateful I was for her example, blessings, prayers and love. I cried with her, kissed her cheek and swept the hair away from her face. In this little time, I felt closer to her than I ever have and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she knew and heard me. Before I left, I rested my head on her chest and said "Thank you for my Babies, I Love You Grandma."
This is the memory that I hold on to and cherish the most. Manuia Lou Malaga Violeta Talua Taito Moea'i.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
4/23/11 - Easter Fun and a little Rain
My kids had a blast with their first cousins during their Easter Egg Hunt here at my Moms House. :) The rain let up at the perfect time for us to let them do it outside. My sisters and I hid their eggs in the backyard and all the while they were inside chanting "Egg Hunt, Egg Hunt!!" They ate TONS of candy and food and now they're all playing together in the giant toy room that they cry to come to when we're home. I just can't believe how fast they are all growing - especially my own. They are getting SO big that it hurts sometimes. :( I LOVE seeing them laugh, yell, talk, play and even cry with the other kids...but I absolutely hate the fact that I won't be able to shield them from the world all the time. I want nothing more than to make sure nothing ever hurts or discourages them. To always be the one they turn to when they need someone to talk to. Hold them when they're scared or unsure of themselves. This would be ideal, but unrealistic, I know. My greatest fears and accomplishments lie within my children. They are my Heart and Soul, and I love them with eveything I am. :)
Just thinking...
I am literally counting the minutes until I can be home with my Husband and Kids. This is my first blog and I'm not sure how this thing works so here I go. :)
Have you ever wondered how people perceive you? Like random strangers that walk or drive past you? I found myself thinking this today as students, teachers and fellow employees passed by. Some would smile, most would give me a quick greeting, and a few just walked quickly by, purposely not giving any eye contact as if I had the plague. lol I can't help but notice that my skin color, still to this day, makes others and sometimes even myself, feel a little out of place and/or uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I love my culture, heritage and my beautiful brown self..lol..but in certain settings and situations I still get an uneasy and almost paranoid feeling that people are judging or condemning me solely based on my appearance. I also have to add that I too, find myself passing quick judgements upon people I see, and although I know it's wrong, it's almost an automatic thing. I feel that what matters is how we handle these almost carnal assumptions. I for one do NOT let these thoughts and feelings linger and dismiss them just as quickly as they come. I get to know others, determine whether our personalities mesh, try to gain common ground, give them an actual chance to get to know me, THEN make an informed decision. Well, I TRY to always do this. lol Just imagine how civil our world would be if we all took the time to look past appearances. Just a thought. :)
Have you ever wondered how people perceive you? Like random strangers that walk or drive past you? I found myself thinking this today as students, teachers and fellow employees passed by. Some would smile, most would give me a quick greeting, and a few just walked quickly by, purposely not giving any eye contact as if I had the plague. lol I can't help but notice that my skin color, still to this day, makes others and sometimes even myself, feel a little out of place and/or uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I love my culture, heritage and my beautiful brown self..lol..but in certain settings and situations I still get an uneasy and almost paranoid feeling that people are judging or condemning me solely based on my appearance. I also have to add that I too, find myself passing quick judgements upon people I see, and although I know it's wrong, it's almost an automatic thing. I feel that what matters is how we handle these almost carnal assumptions. I for one do NOT let these thoughts and feelings linger and dismiss them just as quickly as they come. I get to know others, determine whether our personalities mesh, try to gain common ground, give them an actual chance to get to know me, THEN make an informed decision. Well, I TRY to always do this. lol Just imagine how civil our world would be if we all took the time to look past appearances. Just a thought. :)
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